Today’s FAQ is with Madison, our 14-year-old Cocker Spaniel. She’s here to disprove the conventional wisdom, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Madison’s newest trick is pooping everywhere in the house. We’re here to get to the bottom (pun intended) of this new “trick.”
FAQ #1: Madison, after 14 years as a Hergenrader, why have you chosen now to poop on the couch?…in the kids’ rooms?…right next to the door?
Madison: This is agism! I may be pooping everywhere, but why has no one mentioned the young Greyhound who is peeing everywhere? Just because I’m old, everyone assumes incontinence. How about the idea this is just what the Hergenrader Dogs DO NOW?
FAQ #2: But you dogs have a whole backyard. Pooping inside is kind of gross, isn’t it?
Madison: Have you seen our backyard? That is gross. If I had thumbs, I’d call one of those Pick Up Your Poop services. Could someone give these humans the message we are not farmyard animals?
FAQ #3: I thought the Hergenrader kids were helping out with chores more. Doesn’t this include backyard clean-up duties?
Madison: The kids? Don’t get me started. They’re also supposed to feed us, but that’s not really happening with any frequency. I’m pooping everywhere in protest. And, yes, because I’m getting a little old.
FAQ #4: See? It’s not agism to suggest that. Maybe a diaper would help you?
Madison: That’s actually not a bad idea. I’ve watched the humans and their diaper situations for nine years around here. They have to change the diaper ever so often. That might just be the gimmick I need to get a little extra attention. It might even help them remember to feed me.