I’m asking myself Fraudulently Asked Questions today.
Which, I know, what the heck? What is this horrific trifecta of referring to myself in the third person, asking fake questions, and then answering them? I don’t know, friends.
What I do know is that we are two months into summer, so we are officially to the point anything goes.
Including awkward blog entries.
FAQ #1: It looks like you’re making dinner, Tina. What are you cooking?
Tina: This was last week. Last week I did cook. I sautéed and grilled and whipped up dinners for my family. Dinners they had to chew. All that has changed this week.
FAQ #2: You don’t cook anymore? Your family doesn’t chew?
Tina: That’s right. For our anniversary, we bought a Vitamix. Now we don’t chew, we sip. We don’t cook, we blend. Our lives will never be the same.
FAQ #3: A Vitamix? Is that one of those fancy blender/food processor/juicers?
Tina: Oh, yes it is. Now we have smoothies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We have gone through a jumbo bag of spinach in three days. See those oranges on the counter? Those are what we now call breakfast. Through a straw.
FAQ #4: All these smoothies sound time-consuming. Also, isn’t that much spinach a little hard on the digestive track? How are you managing?
Tina: Please. Do not speak ill of the Vitamix. Our digestive tracks are squeaky clean, thank you very much. And time-consuming? Try time-saving. After all, as of Wednesday, our family has pretty much eliminated chewing from our daily regimen. If that isn’t efficient, I really don’t know what is.